Not too long ago I had a middle age man who attended my clinic very anxious and embarrassed about his situation with premature ejaculation. He tells me he’s unable to have any decent form of masturbation, let alone engage in sex with his partner. He was distressed. He shared that his ejaculation would come within seconds of him being touched over his genitals, even when not yet aroused. If he was aroused, sometimes an erotic sight was enough to cause him to ejaculate. You can imagine how stressful this was for him.

To make matters worse, a doctor at urology clinic once commented “Wah! You come so fast ah!” during his visit. Not a hint of empathy. No duplication of my patient’s feelings. Obviously, that encounter left him even more embarrassed.

During his genital examination in my room, this patient experienced an undesired ejaculation on himself. I am certain he felt very uncomfortable by that and was also concerned about being judged by me. Immediately, I knew it was pivotal that I duplicated how he felt, assured him that this does happen in the clinic with premature ejaculation and gave him time and space to clean up respectfully. What I want to relay is that premature ejaculation can be as severe as this and patients should be treated without judgment and with the utmost professionalism.

Scientifically, duration of sex is often associated with the intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT). This measurement begins when the penis first enters the vagina and ends when the man ejaculates. Studies done across 5 different countries involving hundreds of couples showed that the average IELT is 5.4 mins. This does not even address issues that would concern homosexual sexual activity, so this definition of PE is biased and relevant only to heterosexual sexual men engaging in vaginal penetration.