A man can be sufficiently aroused, have a vigorous enough erection but finds it difficult to ejaculate in a timely manner. In other words, he finds it’s taking him longer than he would like to ejaculate. His partner might be thinking “Come on already! What’s taking you so long?!”
Many thoughts start to stream through a couple when this situation occurs repeated. A man starts thinking ..”is there something wrong with me?”…A woman starts thinking…”does he not find me sexually attractive”…or..”I don’t want to stress him so we’ll just have less sex”.
Up to 4% of men experience delayed ejaculation.
There are 2 types of delayed ejaculation, primary and secondary. Primary delayed ejaculation is a situation when a man has delayed ejaculation from as long as he can remember, from the time he first started sexual activity. Secondary delayed ejaculation occurs in men who previously had no issues with intercourse but along the way developed this problem with delayed ejaculation.
Sometimes delayed ejaculation is circumstantial. Meaning it only occurs in specific circumstances, for example only with specific sex partners or it occurs with sexual intercourse with a partner but not with masturbation. A man who masturbates a certain way, with a specific intensity or speed that gets him off, might him that he is not reaching that required threshold of stimulation during intercourse with a partner.
What causes it?
One has to understand that delayed ejaculation can be caused by physical and psychological factors. And there can be more 1 contributory cause.
Physical factors include:
•Medication side effect – particularly drugs like antidepressants
• Alcohol and illicit drug use
• Nerve damage
• Pelvic injury
• Hormonal deficiencies like low testosterone
Psychological factors can include:
• Mood disorders
• Relationship strains
• Performance anxiety
• innate beliefs about sex – cultural or religious taboos
How then do we treat it?
Of course it involves treating the underlying cause. This may involve changing masturbation habits, getting partner involved in sex therapy to evaluate sex beliefs and how threshold of stimulation can be reached, assessment of all medication taken whether prescribed or over the counter pills and perhaps also replacement of testosterone if deemed necessary.
Point is if you find the situation with delayed ejaculation stressful, don’t keep it to yourself, don’t continue to engage in intercourse that distresses you, come in together with your partner so the issue can be identified and addressed early.